I was sitting on the tarmac about to start three full days of fun and sun in Vegas when I found out that one of my very best friends on the planet died. He died. There is no other way to say it. He. Died.
People try to sugar coat it and say "passed away", "left us", "went to a better place"....BULLSHIT.
He died and I am miserable.
At the very moment that it sank in that he was gone my heart began to physically ache and it hasn't stopped aching - and my eyes....are leaking. I think they call them tears. Now, normally I would race to the oh-so-trusty WebMD and self diagnose myself with what I am sure is a heart attack and convince myself that I am dying...but I already know that the pain I feel is a part of my heart breaking, never to be healed again. Because the minute I knew that Earl was no longer on this earth, a part of my heart broke and died with him. And I will never be the same.
Some losses change you forever.
I met Earl when I was just 20 years old, and I was dating his friend Jay. I thought he was the funniest and most annoying guy I had ever met... Earl, not Jay. From what I remember Jay was fairly nice, but Earl made an impression!
Fast forward a few months and the thing with Jay didn't work out, I had turned 21 and I ran in to Earl at Cowboy's - MY GOD that dude could dance! Well the beer and the dancing won me over and I ended up letting him take me home (that's the polite way of saying, I went home with him).
When I woke up the next day, I had no idea where I was and was convinced I had been kidnapped. I called my friend Cindy for help, and she told me to look out the window of the house and describe what I saw and she would find me. I did that...and saw nothing but field, for miles - out of every...damn...window. I had been abducted.
As it turns out I was just in Peyton. Earl drove me home, called me later that day and took me to dinner that night. That was the start of an on and off romance that lasted for a very long time...and a friendship that lasted even longer. And we have loved each other every day since and didn't shy away from telling each other so even when we were married to other people or single, or dating, because we knew that it wasn't the kind of love that you find every day and it wasn't the kind of love that would would threaten a happy relationship. We just loved each other and we loved knowing each other.
He became part of my family, and I thought I would always know him and have him in my life. And I did, until Monday, July 27th, 2020.
And now he is gone. And the world is darker. And my heart is broken.
I don't know why I felt the need to get this out, maybe just because if you have someone in your life like this...don't ever let them get away. Tell them every day that you love them, and don't let anyone tell you that being friends with your ex is strange or weird, because I loved LOVE him and I always will.
My heart will always hurt when I think of losing him, but it will also rejoice in knowing that he is with God and is happy, and I will laugh at all of the great times that we had and all of the laughs that we shared together that will never be taken away
from us.
It is amazing how losing someone with such a weightless spirit and soul feels so heavy on mine, but I know that I will see my friend again and I hope that when I do, he will spin me around the dance floor one more time, call me "Lil Girl" like he always did and we will embrace like only the best of friends do.
Until then, I love you poopie, and always will.
Rest In Peace, my friend.
Sending you love and hugs during this difficult time! ❤️
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