Cheese Balls and Alcohol

I was sitting on the tarmac about to start three full days of fun and sun in Vegas when I found out that one of my very best friends on the planet died. He died. There is no other way to say it. He. Died.  People try to sugar coat it and say "passed away", "left us", "went to a better place"....BULLSHIT.  He died and I am miserable.  At the very moment that it sank in that he was gone my heart began to physically ache and it hasn't stopped aching - and my eyes....are leaking. I think they call them tears. Now, normally I would race to the oh-so-trusty WebMD and self diagnose myself with what I am sure is a heart attack and convince myself that I am dying...but I already know that the pain I feel is a part of my heart breaking, never to be healed again. Because the minute I knew that Earl was no longer on this earth, a part of my heart broke and died with him. And I will never be the same.  Some losses change you forever. I met Earl when I was just 20 y