I am struggling a little tonight, but I'm trying.

I am at a loss, because of a loss. A friend of mine recently passed away suddenly. And when I say suddenly, I mean he was plucked out of his life in an instant. And I am still shocked.

My heart hurts for his family, especially his daughter, but I also hurt for his wife. And I am not sure why, but I think this one changed me, just a little bit.

My friend, was not much older than I am, and when he went to work, he had no idea that he was not going to come home that night.

So, as I was sitting at home last night, I looked around our house, looked lovingly at Steve and said, "I am going to feel really bad for you if I die." Naturally he looked at me like...what the hell did you just say?!

I know, it's a strange statement, but let's put some things into perspective. Seriously people, take a look around your house. I don't know about you, but I have accumulated A LOT of crap in my thirty (ahem) forty-something years! If something were to happen to me, who is going to go through all of my stuff? Who would want to??

I am going to have to make a list, because we ALL know we have things in our life that we don't want our mothers to find. You can find mine in this:

(You can buy this book on Amazon. And yes, I really do own it. ALL the instructions are being compiled - just so you know!)

I am working on specific instructions for my "inner circle" girlfriends, because otherwise, who knows what is going to get out about me - or where my "good stuff" will end up. But then again, who cares, I'm dead.
(I am making light of it because humor is the only way I know how to deal with the pain of losing someone that you knew that you could pick up the phone and call anytime you needed them. And when you did call them, you knew they would answer, every time.)

This particular friend of mine was one of those people who would pick up the phone every time. On occasion, when my very best friend Cindy and I would have a little too much to drink, we would call him and tell him that we had NOT had too much to drink, but our car was definitely too drunk to drive us home. And on those nights, he would show up and tow our car home, toss our drunk asses in the cab of his truck and make sure we got home safe and sound. He was THAT guy.

So, when I say his passing changed me a little, I mean it.

Because when I start thinking about the last time I spoke to him, I am so thankful that I told him I appreciate him and thanked him for always picking up (the phone and our alcoholic vehicles.)

I leave you with this, and maybe it will change the way you look at things, just a little bit.

The next time you speak to someone, you had better be satisfied with the way you end that conversation, because that could be the very last thing you ever say to them. Ever.

There are some people in my life that I am so thankful that I took the time to be kind to, and others - I wish I could take back the harsh words I said...and let's be realistic - others I couldn't care less about.

But this I am certain about...every conversation from me to you will end as if we will never speak again...even though (hopefully) we will.
So if I say I love you...or kiss my ass, at least we know where we stand!
I love you!
XO
A.

I took this from someecards.com
They are awesome you should check them out.
I don't own this pic.